Reactionary Coping Skill: Half Smiling and Willing Hands

Sometimes the onslaught of emotions is rough. One second you are feeling motivated and upbeat and the next you are numb, empty, and have no desire to do anything or have a racing heart, quick breathing, and racing mind.

There is a program for people who have Borderline Personality Disorder called Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and there are numerous skills that are taught throughout the program. While they are designed for people with BPD, they can be effective across a variety of mental illnesses.

The two skills discussed here, half smiling and willing hands, come from this DBT program.

When you are anxious or depressed smiling is likely the last thing on your mind. And your face likely gets tense without you even realizing it. Half smiling involves relaxing your face and then turning your lips upward just until you notice a small amount of tension at the corners of your mouth. It should feel relaxed. It may feel a little funny to do, but it is hardly noticeable and, since mask-wearing is still common, people likely will not notice at all if you do this out in public. Half smiling helps make you feel more serene because the muscles in your face communicate with the emotional part in your brain. So if your face is tense your brain will receive an anxious, tense, stressed emotional response from your face. But if your face is serene, calm, and relaxed, then the emotional part of the brain will receive that message.

Willing hands has you relax your hands. If you are sitting, turn your palms up and rest them on your lap and if you are standing, turn your palms so they are facing forward.

Sit or stand in this relaxed position, with half smiling, and take several slow, deep breaths.

When engaging with these coping skills you will hopefully start to feel a better sense of control over your emotions. You may still feel anxious, overwhelmed, nervous, scared, angry, sad, etc. But, you will hopefully notice that the emotions are not as consuming as they were before you engaged with these skills.